Human Error
by The-Heart-Worships
Summary: This is a New Moon story. Edward left but he comes back and finds Bella a complete mess. He sets about trying to repair the damage he's done. Story told from Edwards pov. This is my first attempt at anything like this, so be kind please! :
1. Decision

_**Decision **_

I'd fooled myself into thinking that this would make things easier. I truly believed that I'd come back to find her happy. That her sleeping face would be the final reassurance I needed to make me realise that I'd done the right thing. I expected to see her in a restful, deep sleep. To be able to hide in the shadows and listen to her subconscious mutterings, so why did it come as such a surprise to me when I climbed through her window and saw that she was not in the condition I expected? Her face was not peaceful; it was turned into a grimace. Her forehead creased between her eyes and her cheeks were a deathly white. She didn't lie there, perfectly still as she used to on the nights we shared together. Instead, she thrashed, her arms reaching into nothingness, yet still trying to grasp. I stood above her bed and listened as the sobs racked through her chest unwillingly, even in sleep she was too afraid to show how much it hurt. Had I done this? Was this pain- I chocked on that word -my fault? Had my leaving caused her this much grief? I'd been gone for six months now so surely it was not me causing this. Time healed all wounds for humans, people like Bella...Ah, people like Bella. Isabella Swan was like no human I had ever met. The pain came over me like wave, crashing against my body with a heaving force so strong that I felt the breath leave me. My hand reached out to touch her face. I recoiled. I couldn't risk waking her.

"_One night, Edward." _ Not anymore. I could not bring myself to leave her again. I would hide in her shadow every day, every night, until I was sure that she was really okay. My resolve was not that strong, had never been that strong. I turned towards the window and as I did she whispered my name.

"Edward" I stood, as frozen as the ice I imitated. Had she seen me? Then, she screamed. Her body bolt upright as she shook with the tears.

I couldn't have done this, not to the one I loved…I bounded out of the window and headed towards the dark forest, the blackness something I knew only too well now. It symbolised me. My black heart and its silence. I ran, until I could feel nothing but the wind in my hair yet, that scream still surrounded me like I was stood there still, in her room.

I would fix this…

She needed me just as much as I needed her. I was an idiot to think otherwise.

_Isabella Swan was like no human I had ever met._


	2. Numbers

_**2. Numbers**_

I heard the familiar roar of her truck when she was still three miles away. I really should not be here. I was too close. The danger not only to me, but my entire family, our existence, and the life that we had paved for ourselves in Forks. One that we had only been too happy to return to for a second time and would be more than willing to return to again. But if I was caught that would be impossible. I hovered along the invisible border line that had separated vampires and werewolves for two generations. This could be considered no mans land, but it was still uncomfortably close. I had been here every day for a week. Watching Bella's ancient truck as it trudged past to and from La Push. She was spending so much time here and not knowing the reason why was torturous. Had she really moved on? Had she met somebody here? One of the Quileute boys? I was honestly hoping that this was the case. That time had healed her and that I'd came back to her on a difficult night, one that she had found particularly hard, perhaps sensing that I was going to be there.

But I'd been back to her room in the early hours of this morning. I'd spent the better half of the night pacing outside her window, listening to the faint sobs all over again. I'd heard her heart beating frantically, then slow, and then become frantic again as the panic overtook her and the thrashing began.

I hovered above her bed and felt like I was relieving a nightmare, one that I would have gladly given my life to forget. I watched her more intently this time. The beautiful, foolish, clumsy girl. The person I loved. I smiled, though it seemed highly inappropriate, it also seemed right. I remembered the way her heart had used to beat and the way her face used to colour, her scent and its irresistible lure to me. These all felt like memories that should be thrown to the bottom of a pit and never brought up again, although I loved her, she caused me too much pain to think of yet, she was my every thought.

I had sat next to her on the bed, positioning myself so she lay on me like she used to. Putting my arm around her I felt a surge of anger. How had I let myself do this to her?! How had I put her through this? She whispered my name again.

God, how I wish I could hear what she was dreaming.

I allowed my fingers to gently caress her arm praying she wouldn't feel it but hoping in my heart that she would. That she would wake up and know that I had been here all along. Stupid. And I knew it.

The hours were only too short when I'd had her in my arms again. But eventually the sunlight began creeping through into her little room and it had been time for me to leave. I kissed her hair and breathed her in. Lavender. Freesia. And then I was gone. Back to no man's land. Waiting.

She was closer now. Somehow it felt like she was closer than she had been just a few short hours ago. I hoped it would be different this time. That maybe she would look like herself again. I was damned if I was going to resist this time. I waited until she was rounding the corner then stepped out of the bushes. Her expression changed from a dull joy to sheer unadulterated shock. She hit the brakes and they squealed in protest at the abrupt stop. She put her hands to her mouth, her head shaking back and forth. I could see was shaking now as she reached for her seatbelt. I held my hands up as if I were surrendering and began to walk with exaggerated slowness, I didn't want to cause her anymore alarm than I had already. She slowly stepped out of the ageless, rusty truck and began to walk towards me.

"Hello, love." I smiled as I heard her heart begin to beat frantically, I was sure it wasn't panic causing it.

"E...E…Edward?" she stammered, her voice small, weak, lifeless as if she didn't believe it herself.

"Yes, Bella, its me."

"But how…why…I don't understand…" Her words became incoherent as she began babbling, her shaking more violent.

I rushed to her and took her in my arms, this time, it felt real.

"Hush, hush, now, I'm here." And then, as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. She pulled herself away from me, I didn't know she was capable of such force, it honestly took me by surprise.

"NO! NO! NO!" She fell to the floor and wrapped her hands around her knees, rocking backwards and forwards painting a stereotypical picture of a mental patient.

"You're not _real_. I'm not seeing this." Her eyes were wild as she stared up at me. I had no clue how to react to a situation like this. What could I do other than to convince her it was me and that I was here?

"They were all right, I have gone insane! Oh, God, look at me! First I hear you and now I'm _seeing_ you!" This confused me. What was she on about, 'hearing' me? I knelt down beside her, I couldn't bare to watch her like this, her beautiful human face contorted into something unfamiliar.

"Bella, calm down, if I'd have known that my returning would have caused this I'd have gone about it more subtly, please, love, look at me." She turned her brown eyes on me and I felt that wave of pain crash into me all over again. I had loved her eyes, the memory of them had comforted me more than anything when I'd been gone, but now those pools of glorious brown that had all but spoken her soul, were lifeless. The endless colour of them was now flat. The special sparkle in them was gone, lost to the agony of me leaving. How had I done this to her? This was the only question I could ask myself over and over before she stood up and ran back to her truck. In a second I was there, barring her way to the drivers seat, I wasn't going to loose her. I had too much to make up for, I couldn't let her just drive away. She looked at me, her lips pursed, her jaw set tightly and I tried to repress a laugh at this unexpected glimpse of my old, stubborn Bella. Her expression began to change slowly, her eyes scrunching up and her forehead creasing. She sighed, exasperated as if she'd had enough and then her eyes closed completely and she began to slowly count.

"One…two…three…four…" one eye opened ever so slightly and then snapped shut again "…five…six…seven…" this time she opened her other eye peering at me for just a split second longer than the last time. Then I realised what it was she was doing. She was expecting to open her eyes on ten and then for me to be gone. Did I give her that wish? If, of course, that is what she wanted. Or did she truly think that this was an hallucination? Is that was she had reduced herself to?

"…eight…nine…TEN." She shouted the last word as if to give it more potency. Then her eyes snapped open. I was still stood there and her face once again wore that expression of sudden, deep rooted shock. I laughed.

"I'm really here, Bella." And then, she fainted.


	3. Repairs

3. _Repairs._

Her heavy breathing was beginning to shallow. She'd been out for a good half an hour and I was suddenly regretting coming alone, I'd never craved for Carlisle's expertise more than I did at this moment. Two degrees in medicine were nothing if you'd never done the practical. I noticed movement in her eyelids and held my breath. I reached for her hand and prayed that it wouldn't be much longer. Then she began to stir and her eyelids fluttered. I leaned forward and whispered in her ear.

"Bella, can you hear me?" She moved her arm little more than an inch. I took this as my answer. "You can wake up now." And with that, her eyes shot open. She tried to pull her hand out of mine as her other one reached across her eyes to shield them from the bright sunlight blazing through the glass wall at the back of our house. I wouldn't let her go though, her warmth felt like fire to me, and I loved it. It had been too long since I'd felt it.

"Oh." Her mouth formed a small 'o' shape as she took in her surroundings. The pale walls and vastness of the Cullen household still bore some familiarity to her at least. "It's still exactly the same, why didn't you take the furniture with you, pointless buying more, this stuff would have done fine if you ask me." I chuckled lightly.

"Esme would never allow it, a new start every time. She says it's healthier than holding on to the past." She looked at me a little incredulous.

"Well, I suppose you don't want too many memories of the past when you can live forever - they might start building up." The edge to her voice was clear. If my heart was still beating the sharpness of her words would have cause it to skip a beat.

"Sometimes, memories don't leave no matter how fresh a start you conjure up." I looked at her now, staring deep into those lifeless eyes in a fruitless attempt to see what she was thinking. Six months won't have made a difference in that department, Edward. I sighed. It was pointless and I knew it. I still drew up blank.

"Where are the others?" She asked now with a burning curiosity.

"They stayed behind."

"Behind where?" she sounded confused. "The place that you moved to? But why would they do that?"

I took in every detail of her face, surveying the damage I had done. Her cheek bones were sallow; her lips pale, dark purple bruises had formed under her eyes. Her luscious hair now hung limp, greasy looking as if she was no longer bothered by it being there. "Because I came back alone" I answered her. What other reason could I give? The confusion remained on her face. She wanted more than that and I couldn't blame her.

"I came back…alone…to…check on you." I forced the words out. "The others, they don't know I'm here."

"You came to _check_ on me?!" Her voice raised an octave. She sounded offended.

"Yes." I bore my eyes onto hers as I answered.

"CHECK ON ME?!" She was all but screaming now. "CHECK ON ME?!." Her eyes turned wild again and then she began to laugh, hysterically. "You came all the way, to Forks, from wherever in the world you are now, to make sure that I'm _alright_?!" She got the words out while taking deep breaths between laughing.

"Yes. What's so funny?" She rolled her eyes at me as if the answer should be obvious. She looked angry at first, but then her expression turned pained. She stared at the floor then, chewing on her bottom lip like she'd always done. Her eyes glassed up as if she were about to cry but then she looked up towards my face.

"You left, Edward." Her voice was flat, like her eyes, no emotion to be found. I hadn't wanted to get to this so soon. How could I ever persuade her that I'd done this for her?

"And I'll never forgive myself for it." This was all I could manage. Pathetic.

"Well, do you like what you've come home to?" She waved her hand up and down her body.

"What happened?"

"You happened, Edward. You left me. Alone. And I've been dying every day since. Trying to pretend that everything's okay. Putting on a smile, while all I've been able to think of is you. Your face, your eyes, your smell, your voice! It's been agony! Pretending that you don't matter, trying to make Charlie see that it's going to get better. He tried to send me home, Edward! Then what would you have done?! You just count your lucky stars that I found Jacob because Charlie and Renee would have had me in a mental home if I hadn't."

"Jacob" The name tore into me. I didn't like where this was heading.

"_Jacob Black_." She spat his name at me and I winced. I knew she meant for that to hurt and I deserved it.

"Bella, words cannot describe the pain I've felt every day since I left. And please, trust me; if I could have taken your pain and paired it with mine I would have done so without question. Maybe I owe this Jacob Black a debt of gratitude." She looked at me, eyes hard, trying to figure me out I guessed. This was not the home coming I was expecting, but then, what else did I deserve?

"Jacob has…helped me. A lot." Her words were slow, tense, like she didn't want to be saying them. "He's there for me, is here for me, when everybody else seems to have given up hope."

"Hope for what?" Did I really want to know the answer to this?

"Hope for me being Bella again." I didn't know how to answer her. I reached my hand forward and brushed my fingertips as gingerly as I could across her white cheeks. She still felt like the fire that would melt my ice, but there was no colour, no flush of red. She looked at the floor again as I struggled to control the grief washing through me. I wanted my Bella back; I wanted her to be the woman that I took my every breath for, to see her smile again.

"Edward. The past few months have been…hard…on me. I'm not the same person you left behind. I've changed in more ways than you could possibly imagine."

"But I love you all the same, Bella!" I couldn't keep my voice from tightening. What was she saying to me?

"The way I feel about you is as strong as ever too, but not a day has gone by where I've had to force the memory of you out of my head. You are just too painful for me to think of and having you here with me now, and knowing that your only going to leave again is only making this harder on me, making tomorrow what will possibly be one of the worse days of my life. Leaving Jacob with damaged goods beyond repair. Please Edward, go back to Carlisle and Esme. They'll be worried about you."

"_Jacob_." It was my turn to spit his name. "You don't understand Bella. It's not Jacobs's job to fix you." The confusion was written all over her face. "It's mine. And I'm not going anywhere, ever again, I couldn't take that…that…agony a second time. I can only begin to understand how hard this has been on you but I now know one thing Bella, and that is that we need each other. We need each other to survive. Every day I spent without you was nothing but torture. I've craved you, every part of you, since the day I left you in that damned forest. And the worse of it is, is I knew that that is exactly how it would feel."

"Then why did you leave, Edward? If you knew the damage you were doing then why did you leave me here?! Why didn't you take me with you?!"

"I left, Bella, because I needed to protect you from me. From the damage I could and still will, no doubt cause you."

"The _damage_ has already been done."

"But I can fix it!"

"How, Edward?! How can you fix this?! Look at me!" And I did. I took in every last detail of her. The bruises under her new eyes, her paleness that now almost matched mine and the way her cheekbones jutted out from under her sallow skin. She took my breath away, even now. Her face, so beautiful in its agony, broke my heart.

"Because I love you, Bella. And I will do whatever it takes to make you realise that. I will do whatever you ask of me as long as it in no way constitutes leaving you again. But there are some damages I will never be able to repair. The danger that I put you in on a daily basis was something that I could never live with and that is why I left. I left you, not for me, but for the love I felt for you. Please, understand that I thought I was doing the right thing. Thought I was saving you." This is where I wished I could cry. Cry a thousand tears for a basic human error I should never have made. She sighed now, and her hand reached for mine, her fingers curling around the marble of my skin.

"Edward, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not scared of you." I scoffed.

"And how many times do I have to tell you that I could kill you with a kiss." She sat up on the bed now, wrapping her arms around my neck. I could feel her warm breath on my face and I wanted her. Wanted her more than I could ever have believed possible, but it was not her blood that I craved, it was her, her body. Her lips. I traced my finger along them, delicate, soft and round as they had always been. I leaned in and gently pressed myself against her. Feeling the contours of her. I felt her breath quicken and her body tighten underneath me. Her heartbeat doubling in speed as if making up for lack of mine. I wrapped my arms around her waist, feeling her as if for the first time. Her tongue began to slip between my mouth, rediscovering my taste and as it did, I pushed her away. I would not be proven right today, not ever. I looked down at her face, her bottom lip thrust out and then we both laughed. Her musical laugh at that moment was the most welcome thing I could have ever dreamed of.

"Some things never change." She sighed again although her voice sounded lighter.

I lay down next to her and she put her head on my chest, her fingers gently making circles on my upturned palm.

"So" I said. "Tell me how to fix this."

[_Sorry in advance if this gets too long, I just love detail and that's an important part of story telling, right? Also, I wanted to explain that I'm trying to keep this as close to the original as I possibly can without infringing on copyright laws or anything, haha! It is meant to have a sort of Stephenie vibe to it as I like to imagine that this is how the story would have penned out if it had taken this route! Thanks for reading this far and I'll add the next chapter asap.] _


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